Express Stream Made Me Self-Xpress

I never once doubt my capabilities when it comes to study. It all started in Secondary 4 and until now, when I had a conversation with a kind Auntie.

Auntie : “考得怎么样？O Level 容易吗？” (How's O Level? Was it easy?)

Me : “还好啦，有些人说很容易，可是我太多 careless 了。” (It's alright, some people said it's easy, but I committed too many careless mistakes.)

Auntie : “Huh careless?! 敢拿直通车就不应该有 careless mistakes de leh。” (Careless?! Dare to take Express Stream means you shouldn't be committing any careless mistakes.)

I think she meant well (though straightforward and pretty harsh in my opinion) and what she said was absolutely true.

Being in an Express class means we're "smarter" and of course, able to think "more efficiently" as compared to others. Eventually all those stupid careless mistakes were not allowed, even if there is, it's ought to be kept to the very minimal.

After reflecting what she said, I strongly suspect and doubt whether is it correct for me to choose to be in an Express class? I shouldn't have commit those avoidable careless mistakes and yet I done it as if I'm learning that particular question for the first time in my 4 years of Secondary School education!

Normally for any Express classes, the need to cope with stress is a common situation. And because we're supposedly "smarter", this situation should be handled well enough by ourselves.

All along I thought I knew how to cope with stress, but it seems that I overestimated myself.

During exams I revised the way I usually does, I felt no stress at all. To me, in order to cope with the number of subjects given, I just have to memorise the textbooks, notes and formulas, and that's it! The exam should be quite well done.

But I was wrong again. The results were under-satisfaction. I did what my teachers told me to do, especially E-Math, by doing specimen papers and 10-years series, but why does the results still came out as bad as before? Haven't I done what I ought to?

Suddenly I felt that all the efforts I put in for E-Math has gone down the drain. The moment I thought about this, I just couldn't stop demoralising...